Arrested by Grace

Thursday evening, after work, I went to church, had a meeting over coffee and a dinner with a couple of friends. We finished around 1 in the morning and I still have to go to my sister’s house to help with my niece’s decoration for her birthday party. I came home to my sister’s house 2 in the morning. It is not an ordinary place and it is not accessible by buses and trains. I was about to take a taxi but a good friend of mine along with another good friend offered to take me home. It was indeed a very blessed and favored day/week for me because of the people God had placed in my life and of His overflowing strength He had provided to sustain all my activities for the whole week or past days. If I would enumerate what happened lately,…. I don’t want to enumerate actually.. LOL ^_^

I would tell myself (or pray) that these activities are not for me alone, Father, but these are for Your Glory and to fulfill Your calling in my life. I am really grateful for the overflowing strength and wisdom You had showered me…  These strength and wisdom are not for me to boast about but for me to share with other people. God has given us gifts not ours to possess or hold unto but for us to be shared and/or given to someone else.

When I got home 2 in the morning, normally what we would do is to fix ourselves (change clothes, brush teeth, fix the bed) and sleep, some would just sleep right away. I knew I was soooo tired but I fixed myself and went to have my worship and quiet time in the balcony.

I was asking again.. God, when are you coming back. I was getting rid of all my thoughts, my emotions my will, and especially my fear and doubts…and just letting His Holy presence consume me. But I know it was not enough. “I want clearer visitations and clearer communication with You. Take me to heaven and show me what You want me to do and tell the people.”  I was desperate to hear God’s voice. I want an intimate relationship with Him. I want to laugh with Jesus Christ and experience His humor.

There were moments that I got lost and came back but I know I didn’t fell asleep. I opened my Bible and God lead me to Ezekiel. I read 2-3 chapters and I was amazed by His revelations. Ezekiel in his 30^th year saw visions of God. He was then eventually called to be a prophet. I then told Him, God why 30? I am asking You now. Why do I still have to wait for 4 years? Well, God has given me His answers even before. He would always go back to the word – Obedience. I have to be obedient to Him then He will then supply me with the gifts of His Holy Spirit – the supernatural kind of thing – healing and prophecy.

He also told me the word – Patience. He wants me to enjoy what I am doing and currently have right now. I didn’t know the explanation why but I feel that God wants me to enjoy what I have right now is because when the time comes that He would call me,  I would obey Him and leave everything behind.

I have this strong feeling that God didn’t save me just to save me for eternal life. He saved me for His purpose.. for a greater calling. My fall was arrested by His Grace. I know the year 2015 would be the year of grace, it is the time of my equipping (this is one of my prayers points from the latest prayer and fasting).

As I ended my quiet time that time, I went to rest my body and listened to worship songs as I fall asleep. It was 4 in the morning, if I can remember.

I really thankful to God for bringing weekends or the rest days from work because I am able to have extended time with Him. Now, when I would remember His word, 30 years old? Well, let’s see but this I know for sure – God will never fail me.

Let me end this post with the song… Arrested by Grace by WorshipMob

Stuck in the mire of a standard too high

Best efforts have left me weary and dry

From trying to trusting, the weight is released

The cross I am bearing You carried for me

Caught in the crossfire, confusion and doubt

Entrenched in this trial, too weak to dig out

Redemption came running, with righteous decree

"I finished theWORK, child, so fall into Me... fall into Me"

You call me worthy, shame flooded by Mercy's sea

Forever forgiven, a new life has risen in me

Righteous and holy, sin always and fully erased

Beloved, accepted, my fall was arrested by Grace

From trying to trusting, this weight is released

The cross I am bearing You carried for me

Redemption came running, with righteous decree

"I finished theWORK, Child, so fall into Me... fall into me"

Adopted by Perfection

You rejected my rejection

Made whole by resurrection...I'm Yours

(COPYRIGHT© 2014 Integrity's Praise! Music/BMI & Brave World Publishing)

The Blue Man

So I am back in writing again. I was not able to post for two months though I have a lot of thoughts to blog about which I had kept in Evernote. Tonight, I just want to write about my current feelings and thoughts and whatever the Holy Spirit would like me write about.

It’s 11 on a Saturday night now. I have work tomorrow and I wanted to rest so bad but I still had that eagerness to write. So I opened my laptop and I am writing again. I remember the time when I created this blog. It was mainly to write about my travels and food explorations but it turned out to be more of the inspirational side and sharing my walk with God.

Sometimes God would give me ideas to write about. The ideas are overflowing in my mind but never get the chance to post them. So what I do is just write it down on my mobile then blog about it when I have the chance or the time. But then, I don’t have much time. Okay, I do have time but it is not enough on all the things I want to do. They said prioritize…manage your time..but for me? I can’t comment on that. I am quite lost but not really. There is so much to do yet little time – I would always tell myself.

I had a very tough week/s lately. My workload increased to the extent that I get to missed emails for a week which I don’t normally do. I and my teammates were having a tough time at work that even extending after office hours would not let us finish everything. I remember staying alone at the office one night until 10:30 and I got so drained the other day. Imagine some of them are staying almost every night. I can still consider myself lucky. Lucky… because I’ve learned to let go and leave office earlier than them.

But let’s get to the point… I had a very tough week at work but it didn’t stop me to do my usual activities. Would you believe me that my time with God was longer than before? I was expecting that it will be lessened or no quiet time at all. I was amazed on the fire and the strength that God gave me.

It all started when I had that Tuesday sesh with a group of believers from another church. We also have a run for a cause on that day and run as part of my training for The North Face Night Rock Run which I had yesterday (May 1). I was not able to attend the run off course. But it was a very fruitful and amazing night for me. I won’t be able to tell everything what happened but my eagerness to get closer to God and experience His Presence has grown more than before.

I can’t go to bed now without soaking in God’s Presence. My curfew time for myself is 12 midnight. I would go to the balcony, put a mat and pillows and lie down. I normally start my soaking time with worship songs, then prayer, then feeling His presence or letting God’s presence manifests in me. If there’s no word from Him directly, I would open my Bible randomly, then I know those are His words for me which then I find very timely. If you check my Instagram posts, the Bible verses that I am posting were the verses He had given me on those days.

That’s why I normally sleep 2-3am with 5-6 hours of sleep only. I have been asking God to give me clear visions or clearer visitations. That He will speak to me directly and that He will take me somewhere and I won’t be having that fear in me again.

God then gave me the word “Obedience” if I want to fully receive His gifts – the gifts that I have been asking Him – gift of prophecy and gift of healing. He had given me a task before which I was not able to do. He showed me the opportunity, the very clear perfect timing but I let it pass. But God gave me another task on that day but it was for another person and He wowed me that night.

Sometimes in life, God will speak to you directly and you wouldn't even realize it. So don’t forget to pray for discernment as well.

God gave me a vision one time of a man wearing a blue shirt sweeping the floor, and he was deaf. I was like, God why are you showing me this. Then He said, this is what you have been asking me. Then the obedience word came again. That night (Sunday), I said, Lord, where am I going to find this man. Where am I going to find him? I had my core training that night, rode a train, went to a cafeteria but I didn’t find him.

The next day, I was staying late in the office, and the office boys and cleaners are not wearing blue. I was about to ask my colleague to speak to one of them in their language and ask if one of them was deaf but I was too shy to ask her of that. She might ask me why, and I have to explain to her the reason that God showed me this vision. She might go on shock and I don’t want it to happen. LOL. I am actually not yet prepared to be so bold with other people. Though one of God’s word for me is to never hold back. Okay, let’s go back to the story…

I left the office 10:30 and I told myself there’s no chance for me to find this man because I am not going anywhere this late in the evening.

On my way home, I went to the grocery store to buy some snacks for the next day’s breakfast. I bumped to a man on my way to the cashier. I was listening to my usual worship songs and didn’t pay much attention to him. I was paying at the counter when I realized that, that is the man from The vision. I was looking at Him and couldn’t believe myself that The vision was indeed true.  I was praying, God please speak to me now. Please give me a word if You want me to go to him and pray for him for healing. Then I paid for my bill and went home.

nini.ph

Come and follow Me

I woke up early this morning to have a surfing session with my ever supportive swimming and surfing Coach. It’s Saturday and I’m scheduled to usher for today’s service. Service starts at 10:30 in the morning but we have to be there an hour before to fix the place. Knowing I’d have to go to church, I still took some time to get some taste of salt water and a few body pain and bruises. ^_^ After the surf sesh, I went straight to church.

We have a new series at church today and our Senior Pastor lead the preaching. It was about Come – an invitation to experience God for who He is but I am not going to write about his preaching.

When I thought of the word COME, the first thought in my mind is that person is commanding you to come to him. Since my manager no longer sits beside me, he still has to call me over the phone and ask me to come to his station. I would (always) ask him to give me few minutes because I am on the middle of something. At times, he would tell me (on a louder voice), “now”, off course, I cannot refuse him even if I’m busy with something so I have to come to his place at that very moment.

I remember in the book of Matthew when Jesus had his first disciples, the fishermen simply obeyed Jesus when He asked them to come and follow Him.

Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow Me, 

and I will show you how to fish for people!” 

And they left their nets at once and follow Him.

Matthew 4:19-20 NLT

Like Jesus, my manager is placed in a position or in authority where I have to honor and respect him.  He was put in the position where he can command me and assign tasks to me.

Basically, what Jesus said to Peter and Andrew does not only apply to them. They apply to all of us. We are called to be followers of Christ and fishers of men. If we can obey the people that were put into authority; why can’t we obey The Son of God...

Why do we struggle to obey Him?

nini.ph

What on earth am I here for? - knowing your purpose and calling

Some people spend a lifetime trying to find out their purpose in life... It's like finding THE ANSWER to your - what on earth am I here for? I realized I knew it all along.

When I was a kid, I thought being a nun is the greatest way I can serve God and make God known to other people. I also had that dream to live a life in the mountains or in slum areas to serve, educate and take care of the poor and the sick. Now that I have responsibilities, I cannot just walk out of the corporate world. But still, I am hoping that one day I will go back to my home country and go wherever my feet will take me and be able to touch people’s lives by the grace and love of God and (off course) to have some fun like surfing, swimming in the ocean and cliff diving - I hope before I reach 30.

We don't have to be a pastor, an apostle, a nun, a priest, a saint, an evangelist to serve God and make Him known. We just have to live life like how Jesus Christ did. He should be reflected in our everyday lives.. on how we handle our finances (urgh!), our relationship with our family & friends, for some – with their partner/children, and even to strangers and our enemies, on our work ethics, and on how we take care of our body and most especially how we view ourselves... or basically, everything!

A modern day prophet based in USA once shared his experience with us, he was visited by Jesus Christ years ago and Jesus revealed to him on how He is going to use people for His purpose (one of this is the revelation for the cure of cancer), His message goes like this…God will call out people in the media, in the entertainment industry, in politics, in science and technology, in finance or business world to be used for His purpose. You don’t have to be in a church, or be a church servant or a leader to be used for His purpose. He can use you in any position you are in right now. He can use you in your company, your family or circle of friends. This message made a great impact to me since then.

So….. What on earth am I here for?

We actually have one common purpose, and that is…To know God and make Him known in every walk of life. And each of us has a specific calling that leads us to that common purpose.

So, what’s my calling then?

I was having a hard time recently. For me, it was like a battle of the mind, or what you called a spiritual warfare. Some things happened that made me feel helpless. You know that there’s injustice but you are helpless and cannot do anything about it no matter how hard you try, and the last resort is, you just have to give in and move on and move forward. I was full of resentment and I have been continuously asking and praying to God to remove that feeling. I hate that feeling! Good thing I was over it now by the grace of God.

Something came up and I was on the verge of leaving my job. I had even asked my sisters and close friends about it. My sister then said, “what is God trying to reveal to you?”.

If you want to know God’s calling or revelation in your life or decision, it is not instant like a snap of a finger. It will take time, or even no revelation at all or better to say, we have to learn how to discern how God  speaks to us. Do you know that one of my prayers is to know how to discern God’s voice?  

Anyhow, I know God knows and feels the struggle I am in in those few days. I keep on telling myself that I will not be shaken because I am Your child. I might not get what I want Father, but I know that You had prepared something great for me. It seems that this world is unfair, but I know Your promise will remain.

So basically what had helped me these past few days, is prayer, seeking His words and quiet time with Him. Eventually, God revealed something to me and I have faith that it is my calling. I have to hold on to my job because He will use me in that position. So even if I didn’t get the increase, bonus (or get promoted - I am not asking for a promotion by the way) I desired, God will definitely do the increase for me. He will be the one to promote me in His perfect time. It might not be more cash on my hands, but God has abundantly rewarded me of things that money can’t buy. And I am very grateful to Him.

Quiet Time with Him at Elevation Burger shop

I want to tell you also that now my relationship to God has grown tremendously in the last few months, it doesn’t mean that God loves me more than He loves you (He loves you as much as He loves me) or my life’s gonna be good all the time or I am a more favored child. I am actually already favored because I am a child of God. But I know this, that even if I suffer, I am not alone with it because Jesus is with me and I am with Him in His pain.

So when you are called, you have to answer it, even if it means you have to leave everything behind specifically your own desires or “worldly desires”. Otherwise, life might be like what had King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes..that everything is meaningless that is, if you let the worldly desires consume and live your life. (What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun? Ecc 1:3 NIV)

My work station with a picture of my sisters and niece.
One of the greatest rewards I got from God...

^{so let me end my post for tonight with this Verse...}
 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2 NLT

nini.ph

... My family

When Life Seems So Blondie – A Beautiful Mess

I found some pictures which were taken 6 years ago and I guess this will be a great opportunity for me to share my thoughts or my word for the day.

I wanted a perfect brown hair so I bought two packets of bleaching product in Divisoria to start with. Knowing that the process will be the same with other coloring products, I did it myself.

Few minutes later, I noticed a burning sensation in my head. I rushed to the bathroom and rinsed my hair with cold water. As I comb with my fingers, strands of hair start to fall down. I combed again with a proper comb and my hair stretched like a rubber until it broke. My hair is damaged, I want to scream and pull out my hair but no. It’s a total mess.

From straight hair, to curly hair, then blondie damaged hair ^_^

I was able to smile and pose still ^_^

I was not able to sleep that night. The very next day, I went to a salon to get my hair fixed. Chop chop! They cut everything that were damaged. I can’t have another dye so I have to stick with the golden hair. I am not a fan of short hair but I am still very lucky otherwise I’ll be walking bald for a couple of months. LOL

We were living in the province and whenever I go out, people would stare at me, okay, my golden, sun-kissed hair. I was so embarrassed with my hair that I bought clips and put on blue contact lenses so I would look more Tisay. I had to wait for a month before coloring it to a darker one so I told myself, I am going to enjoy it while it lasts.

In life, we make choices without thinking twice. We live a life for our own desire, for our own happiness, for own satisfaction or what we think is important to us. We make decisions in life with no reference point to God. In the end, we would realize that we have done wrong. We would even come to the point that we question ourselves what we have done wrong, what we should have done in the first place, and what am I going to do now when the damage has been done.

I was in that situation thinking that I should have researched first about bleaching your hair on your own. If I did, I wouldn’t be in that messy situation. But life seems to be like that. We just hit the start button right away without looking first at the manuals. We are so confident that we know it all. Anyway, it says start.

I believe that God created us but I can’t say if He created us with manuals. He is God and He doesn’t need manuals. Yes, God created us but He didn’t create us to become His slaves. He wants us to have a relationship with Him. That’s why we call Him, our Father. He loves us so much that He has given us free will - the freedom to choose and to live our lives. It is up to us if we will conform to the patterns of this world or live a life with meaning. (Romans 12:2 NIV). 

I believe that whatever we do, may it be a bad or a good decision, whether we stick to the manuals or not, or whatever mess we are in right now, there’s always better days ahead. Better days might not be here on this earth, but I know there are better days of life after earth. We can always try to fix our lives on our own but that would only be temporary.

I would sometimes look back on my past, my life before Christ. I know how messy my life was before and at some point I would recall parts of my life or decisions I am not proud of. I can’t tell everything in detail, but I can assure you that no matter how messy our life is, no matter how damaged and broken we are, God wants us and loves us no human being can ever compare and measure. 

Our life could be a mess but we are beautiful in His eyes.

nini perion | nini.ph

Rainbow

Did you ever feel that your day is playing games with you?

Yesterday morning, I woke up around 9 and I was hesitant to go out and have my quiet time at the park nearby because we have to be at church at 11. I also thought that I am going to church anyway so missing quiet time this morning would not hurt. But I have that fire in me and someone’s telling me to go even for a few minutes will be enough. My sister was cooking breakfast for us so I headed to the park with my bag and mat. I guess going back by 10am will give me enough time for bath and dressing up.

While walking near the swimming pool and playground area, I put on my earphones and listened to few worship songs, and I started singing. I placed my mat in the big open space near the trees so I have a shade to cover the not so heat of the sun. It’s winter but it is not as cold compared to last year. I started my quiet time with a prayer.

I was thinking to continue with the book I’m currently reading - Life Without Limits but I took Joyce Meyer’s book instead – Start Your New Life Today, an Exciting New Beginning with God. I haven’t opened this book for quite a while so I can’t remember where I had left of. I opened the page where my bookmark is and I was surprised to see what the chapter is about.

It was a about setting aside time to sit and think about God’s word. That thinking about the Word of God should be a regular part of your daily activities. Then, I felt that tiny guilt in myself.

I remembered that I was thinking twice if I will go out and have a quiet time with Him or not. If only I had woken up early or slept early I wouldn't struggle. God, our Father indeed you make me smile today. You are full of humor. I was not expecting this message from Him, but it looks like He is teaching me a lesson.

I read another chapter and went back to the house. None of them had taken a bath and we have to leave in a few minutes. My sister then told me that we will take the next service which is 2 in the afternoon. I was like, okay no one texted me LOL, I wished I had a longer quiet time.

We have 3-4 hours before we leave and go to church. I didn't want to go back to sleeping LOL. So I took brunch and asked my cutie niece, my sister and my mom to go to the park. I brought my bag and mat with me. When we were there, I saw the sprinklers up and I told myself – quiet time part 2 failure. So tomorrow, I will try my luck. It was almost 12 noon. I played with my niece in the playground area and savor being a child again by riding the swing and playing with other small kids.

January 3, 2014. I had attempted to have an earlier quiet time today but failed. I first took my breakfast and when I am about to go I chatted with my good friend in the Philippines. Our chat took like 30 minutes or more coz’ I told her about the preaching yesterday. I told myself that it’s fine, it was a good opportunity to share God’s word with her.

It was almost 12 noon when I left and I hoped I’d have enough shade. I checked the grass if it’s wet. I remembered the sprinklers yesterday and I believe they won’t be showing up today – watering the grass for two consecutive days would be too much, I saw the grass getting drowned yesterday LOL.

So I placed my mat, put my books out - my faith journal, my pens, my water jug, my prayer and fasting 2015 manual and I think I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready. I turned the music off and was about to start with my prayer. I said I need something from Him, I need His Words.  I was reading Romans Chapter 6 and then to my very big surprise the sprinklers came out. I hurried my things inside my bag, took the mat and kept off the grass. My “moment” was ruined. I was like, hey didn't you see me? Well, I think the sprinklers are automatic.

I headed back home coz’ I am wet, my mat is wet. Then, I saw a playground nearby, no one’s playing, and there’s a shade just enough to place my mat. 

I was so happy, so I placed my mat, put my stuffs out and I did my prayer – finally. I was listening to Sinking Deep by Hillsong Young and Free, a worship mob version where in the end one of the guys proposes to his girlfriend. The first part of the video was a prayer. While praying there were soft sweet voices as their background music and I would hear someone singing in tongues. Then I noticed I was also singing in tongue. I felt His Holy Spirit embracing my full body and wants to explode or scream out. My whole body is being electrified. It was my first time… in my mind – Shocks! Ganoon pala yung feeling

Few minutes later, while I was looking up some verses about fasting, the sprinklers showed up again. I hurried my stuffs in my bag and I am soaking wet because it took me some time to realize that it is happening again. I think it’s time to go home. It’s like the devil does not want me to have my quiet time. Like, I should have gone earlier for real.

While I was walking, I saw a streak of colorful lights. I can’t believe it. I saw a rainbow. It’s my first time to see a rainbow near me. Usually, we would see them up in the sky. I smiled. Indeed, God, our Father is amazing. Amidst the struggles I had earlier, He made me smile by showing me the rainbow. The rainbow as sign of His covenant with us (Gen9:13) and for me, a sign that He loves me – saying that it’s okay my child, you can go, we will have more time together soon.

Despite my battle with the sprinklers, it is still an amazing day for me!

A Glimpse on What on Earth Am I Here for?

I am very blessed to have a great family and great friends. I might not have much money to buy all the things I want… well, I have a lot of riches that money can’t buy.

A week ago, I attended a conference. This is not like the career-type of conference etc. It’s actually a Prophetic Conference. Oh, what is that?

To tell you frankly, I do not have an idea at first. My friend told me to attend that conference and I will be seeing one speaker who would tell me God’s vision in my life. This is really something cool but I did not show much interest until I attended my sister’s church for the first time. I had a glimpse of what prophetic means. After the service, I and my two sisters signed up for the conference.

Me..at the first day of conference
view on my Instagram

To give you an idea about it, our speakers are the so-called modern day prophets. They are called by God to deliver His message for a specific purpose. Their gift of prophecy is not for their own growth or own glory, but to give Glory to God.

So Imagine, you knowing “What on earth am I here for?”.

It was a two-day conference and on the last day, our last speaker was Shawn Bolz. You can search him up on You Tube to know more about him and see how anointed he is. Honestly, I don’t have any idea about him before the conference. So I was totally amazed whenever he calls out people and tells them God’s words or visions for them - what are they about to do in the next months or years and how God will use and bless them for His glory. It was like so precise. He calls out people by their name, or by their birthdate or something relevant to them. After the conference, I began searching him up in You Tube.

I am really amazed. There are no words to describe the experience. I have not experienced this in my life and I don’t have any idea before that this kind of people still exists. I had seen miracles and healing, too. Well, if God can do it before (referring to the Bible), He can do the same today.

I was waiting for Shawn (same with the other speakers) to call me, or say something relevant to me. The session was about to end and still I haven’t been called and given a prophecy. Am I not important to you God? Don’t I have a bigger purpose like them? Then, the conference ended.

You might ask me, am I disappointed? Am I disappointed not having a word or visions through them? - I had thought of the same thing. But if God wants me to know His purpose for me, He will give it in His perfect time. It may be through a gifted person or just simply directly to me.

About knowing my purpose on earth? It’s okay. Like what I have been telling my friends lately, I don’t have to be in a church to be called and be used by God. He can use me anywhere. He can use me in my work place, with my family, my group of friends or simply the people around me.

Few days later, a good friend of mine and sister in Christ said she has a word for me. And I was excited for it. Actually it was two words: Purity and Obedience.

I stopped for a while and think about how it relates to my life. Purity, remain pure until I marry that godly husband God designed for His princess. So basically, my next boyfriend should be my godly husband and we both remain pure until we get married. You know what I mean, err? Obedience, just simply continue being obedient to God.

And she also shared me her devotion which made her think of me…

“God is about wholeheartedness! He does not want your heart to be fractured by you putting your hope and trust in uncertainty—someone or something that He did not call you to or assign to you.

So save yourself the distress. Don’t throw the righteous pearls in your heart to pigs. Don’t let the enemy wear you out, disappoint you, diminish your faith or harden your heart through your own foolish choices. If you do, you will struggle to love the promised earthly husband God has chosen for you.

When we wait on God to fulfill the desires He put in our hearts, we plant a seed of honor, we remain true to Him as our First Love, our First Husband, Our Father, Our Friend, Our Lord. And He will faithfully deliver His promises to you His way.

It’s not always easy to wait. So remind yourself that every seed you plant—good or bad—produces a crop. And you will eat the fruit of it.

Choose to put your trust in God alone.‎”

After reading this, I was teary-eyed and I am really thankful to God not only because of this experience but in every situation of my life. See, I did not have a word during the conference but God used other people to deliver His message to me. This message is straight to the point, true and perfect for all God’s princesses. :)